Week 4
This is the final week of the Breakthrough Coaching Course
Challenge yourself this week!
This week is not about you watching anymore videos but rather going out there and practising what you have learned.
I want you to really challenge yourself now to bravely step outside of your safe zone. That is where the real learning and progress happens.
Every anxious person has a safe zone they feel comfortable in. That safe zone may be familiar environments like their home, their neighborhood or can be anywhere that they are with a support person who understands and helps them.
Safe zones are really comfort zones we mentally create to help feel reassured that everything is manageable. The problem is that that are a self-imposed prison.
Because comfort is found there, it’s where the person tends to spend more and more time.
The safe zone is a myth. In reality there’s no such thing as a safe zone from anxiety. So I want you to now really push outside your safe zone.
Cross that red line in your mind and go for it.
I want you to dig really deep and push out like you have never done before. Real growth and learning happens when we challenge ourselves, feel the anxiety and push beyond our comfort levels.
As Susan Jeffers wrote we have "feel the fear and do it anyway"
Are you willing to feel the fear today?
Understand that the anticipation of doing it, is always much worse than the event itself. Keep pushing through your fear. You have what it takes to do this.
I know you are strong enough.
If you keep pushing out the illusion of a safe zone will suddenly evaporate.
Keep pushing through!
Plant your flag outside your safe zone . When you push outside your safe zone do not expect to enjoy it even if it’s a fun thing like going to the cinema or eating out with friends.
Expect it will just feel uncomfortable, later as you continue to practice you will eventually start to enjoy doing it.
Take a moment now and make the decision to do this. Is there anything more important you could be working towards?
You are fighting to win back your very freedom.
Barry
Do not give up!
I want to share an audio today that is taken from my previous coaching program (Panic Away Private Coaching).
Here you will hear people explain in their own words how they have been getting results from what they have been learning. It sums up the whole philosophy of the approach you have been learning. I want you to listen to it any time you feel like giving up. It is a great audio to keep your motivation up.
Barry
Final challenge -Give up your crutch
Here is your final challenge. It is an important step for this final week and for the weeks following this program.
If you’ve suffered from anxiety for any significant length of time, you’ll have developed one or more crutches. Crutches can be people you rely on or things you use to help you feel reassured and safe in anxious situations.
Some typical examples might be:
-Always having a safe person with you
-Never leaving home without your cell phone
-Always having a Xanax in your pocket
-Carrying a small bottle of alcohol around with you
-Messaging or calling people each time you feel anxious
-Having the same medical exams preformed over and over again
Crutches are any external thing that you feel you need in order to feel safe. It’s understandable how crutches develop as they offer a safety net of sorts. You think to yourself, “Well, if things get really bad, I’ll always have X to rely upon.” If you think about it, needing a crutch is a sign that you still do not fully trust that you’re safe. Crutches are an indication that you’re still resisting the experience of anxiety.
In the early stages of recovery, crutches are very helpful to get you up and walking toward your goal. If you broke your leg, you would need crutches to get you mobile and moving. After a certain point, you then need to discard the crutches in order to stand firmly on your own two legs.
Here is how Ian a previous coaching member described the process of giving up his biggest crutch (his wife).
I feel I’ve made amazing progress since joining the program. I’m doing things I haven’t attempted in years. Anxiety and panic do not have the same impact on me they used to have. In fact, I haven’t had a full-on actual panic attack in a couple months now. There is still lots of ground to be covered, and I don’t feel I’m out the woods yet, but now I mostly feel positive about the journey that I’m on.
This afternoon I read a post in the “members” area about “crutches.” This got me thinking, and I then had a good chat with my wife. I explained to her that the support she’s giving me is now holding me back. I thanked her for always being there for me, for doing the things I feel I can’t, for being my company when I have to drive past my comfort zone.
I explained to her that I know she does all these things because she thinks she’s helping me and that I thought that too, but from now on she’s to never allow me to use her as a “crutch” again matter what.
I love my wife with all my heart, and I have no idea how I would have got through these last six years without her, but it’s time I remove my “crutch” and continue this journey alone now.
Of course, this chat with her has made me anxious. It’s given me a lot of what ifs. … What if I’m not ready or I’m having a bad day or I’m not as far down the road to recovery as I think I am and I still need her …?
But I’m answering all these with a big fat “so what.” I’m expecting my anxiety levels to go up again in the next few weeks and maybe even a return of panic attacks, but for me this is now the next step I need to take, and even if I change my mind, it’s too late. I’ve had the chat and I’ve asked her, “No matter what I say, this is now the way to help me.”
What Ian did was dramatic and took a lot of courage. Part of him recognized that his recovery had plateaued, and in order to get to the next level, he needed to take this leap and discard his crutch.
I’m not suggesting that you need to discard your crutches with the same gusto as Ian did, but at the very least start the process and wean yourself off your crutches in incremental stages.
For example, today you might decide to go for a drive alone instead of taking your safe person with you. Maybe you could leave your phone or Xanax at home when you go out for a walk. Or maybe you could decide to go shopping locally on your own.
Whatever it is that you’re always doing with your crutch, start to plan ways to practice without it. Try to do one small thing each day going forward without your crutch. It doesn’t have to be a big thing; the important thing is to keep pushing out so that you’re building your confidence up like a muscle.
I know that this can be very hard to do, especially if you’ve relied upon your crutch for many years, but you have to now dig deep and find the courage. You’re well equipped for this challenge because you now have the tools to replace your crutch.
It is, of course, possible to have a good level of recovery with a crutch still in place, but you’ll never feel like you’ve made it all the way. There will be this niggle of anxiety that will keep pestering you, telling you that you’re still vulnerable as you still rely upon your crutch to feel safe. That niggle will undermine your confidence in the long run, and that’s why this final challenge is so important to take.
Commit to doing it right now. Create a workable plan to discard your crutches as best you can.
Barry
Bonus videos and a final important message
As I am asking you to really challenge yourself this week, I am releasing a series of one to one video sessions I recorded from the Panic Away program to give you some extra assistance.
Here you will see me coaching people in different situations with the same approach you have been learning here. Watch the videos that seem most relevant to you.
http://www.panicaway.com/index.php/bonus-videos
This is also the end of the coaching program.
The whole purpose of this video training program is for you to win back your freedom&mdashto get you living life again without the shadow of anxiety hanging over you.
I know that’s what you long for the most: To live without having to think each situation through in advance. To be able to go places without the fear of what might happen when you get there. To spend time with friends or family without the constant intrusion of anxious thoughts.
You have the information here to achieve all that and more.
Every time you practice The One Move, you’re aiding the recovery process and healing your anxiety.
That’s why I say you can never fail at applying The One Move, even if your anxiety doesn’t drop immediately. Just the very act of implementing it is something to celebrate as it always gets you moving in the right direction.
Don’t doubt yourself or the process. Simply trust that it’s working, and soon, you’ll start to feel a whole lot better.
You have to keep doing this brave work. Remember, you’re the cure. No one else can do it for you.
Th e only way out is through. Of course, there will be setbacks along the way, but as long as you understand that these setbacks are a key part of the recovery process, they won’t hinder you.
In the beginning no one feels like they’re making progress fast enough, but trust me: if you’re doing the work, you’re healing at the right speed for you. Through complete acceptance and nonresistance of your anxious sensations, you’ll eventually set yourself free.
Time is your most precious resource. Don’t waste any more of it on anxiety. Life is waiting for you&mdashgo out and join it!
You’ve been away too long.
Barry McDonagh
P.S We have a private FaceBook area for anyone who wants to join a community of people who
are supporting each other through this program. Email support@breakthrough-panic-attacks.com and request access to that area.