My Journey Back to the Beach (and Myself)

I remember reading encouraging posts, and thinking damn I will NEVER get back to who I used to be. Anxiety is a liar.

 

For 5 years I didn’t travel. I was lucky enough to get out of my driveway sometimes. I would just cry and panic at the thought of being 10 minutes from my house, but man, how time is different.

This September I made it back to the beach. The beach has always been my safe haven, my peace, and my home away from home.

I used to literally bawl my eyes out to my therapist that I would never experience the ocean again. Lo and behold, I set a date and went. I expected the panic to hit me at any time on the road, and it never did. I expected to wake up in the middle of the night panicking because I wasn’t close to home. Or look at the ocean and be terrified. Or be out and about in a town I had never been to (I went to gulf shores and I had never been to that beach before) and just panic and then would need to call 911.

None of those things happened.

I did cry though, but they were tears of joy. I just couldn’t believe I had made it. You just have to believe in yourself. You have to know that anxiety can scare you, but can’t hurt you.

❤️ Jennifer A.